
Reflections from the life of an american convert to Islam
Bismillah ir-Rahman Ir-Raheem
Today is the first day of ramadhan, and also my first ramadhan. Alhamdulilah! I'm about 6 or 7 hours into my fast and doing okay. Masha'allah. I look foward to making the best of this blessed month and hope to increase my emaan (faith) and become a stronger muslimah.
Husband is leaving on sunday to go home to him mother's. Can't say I'll miss him, but I almost feel bad for leaving him....keyword almost. I pray that the Almighty Allah, guides him and I know that if it is Allah's plan for my husband and I to reconcile at another time than it will be so. But in the mean time, I have to do what's best for me and I cannot stay in this relationship anymore. Most of my reason for leaving isnt even religiously related. Just been thinking about the past 2 years, how much i've been through with him and how much i've put up with that I probably shouldnt have. But, Masha'Allah (As God has willed) that which doesnt kill you only makes you stronger and whatever you give up for the sake of Allah, Allah has promised to replace it with something that is far better. So, I pray for sabr (patience), while I await my better replacement. Whatever that may be.
I leave this place in 3 weeks! Insha'allah!! Even though i know its going to be hard living on my own, and I dont exactly know how i'm going to get by. I know God is always by my side. Alhamdulilah.
~Tahani